The Clutter Fairy Weekly Survey #186 Results
Decluttering by Gifting and Donation
Below are the results of our survey about audience experiences related to the topic for episode #186 of The Clutter Fairy Weekly. If you haven’t already done so, please take the survey.
Attitudes About Giving Stuff Away
We instructed our audience, “For each of the following statements, please check the option that best describes the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement.”
Note: Hover over any pie slice in the chart to see the name of the category and the number of respondents who selected that answer. (Mobile users: Click on the bars for details.)
Responses
To view the detailed survey response from any respondent, click on their name in the table below. (You may also find it easier to read long responses in the detailed view.)
| Name (click to view full survey response and comments) | What factors do you consider when you’re thinking about giving things away to family members, friends, neighbors, or other people you know? | What factors do you consider when you’re thinking about donating items to a charity, shelter, or unknown recipient? | What is your all-time favorite hand-me-down, cast-off, or regifted item? |
|---|---|---|---|
| Marcia | if they like it and want to keep it | do they accept these type/category of items what condition must they be? example one shoe collection said any shape and they would recycle and repurpose the ones that are in bad shape | my grandparents antique marble topped walnut end tables and curio stand |
| Anonymous user | Sweetener packet caddy | ||
| Dianna | It has become easier to let go of items that no longer serve me. The cost of holding on to everything became too great. I would never burden another person in that way. If something I am letting go of benefits them in any way, it makes me happy. | Whether or not the item/ items are useful; Like towels to animal shelters and rescues, Plant pots and garden items to local garden club, The items must be in good useable condition; If I needed this item, would it be acceptable? As hard as it is to throw things away, realizing when an item has served its purpose and achieved its intended lifespan is key. | This is hard!!! I am extremely sentimental and although my decluttering journey will continue, I have been ruthless and keep only the things that make me smile and feel privileged to take care of them. So I will choose the item closest to where I sit now: The last time I visited with my favorite Aunt, she was 90 years old. She asked me to open a cabinet to search for some random item and when I did , a silver, trout like fish 10"×5" leapt off the shelf and into my hands.I asked her about it. She had no idea what it would be used for and didn't particularly like it, but it was a gift from her husband's snooty Aunt, so like all of her possessions, it was a treasure. We laughed and laughed about this peculiar object that quite frankly is not all that attractive. She asked me if I would like to have it. Knowing in my heart that I would probably never have another visit with her, I said yes that I would proudly display it and think of her and laugh, and I do |
| Pat | These people, who I choose, will accept the item or not. I ask first if they can use it. If not, I have a long list of Denver friends (and donation places) who need various items. I’m downsizing and my ‘goal’ is get it out of my space! In my mind, I have already released it. If I haven’t, I’ll keep it another 30 days and re-evaluate my decision to give it. Or better yet, sell it. Why am I not ready to release it? Because in reality, after my death, ‘all items go into the landfill’. We have no children in thus 55 year marriage. My stuff is mine. I live it all! I am a giving expensive Diamond and Ruby ring to a cousin this holiday season. She can wear it or sell it. I don’t care. It’s her decision. I’ve already released it. She will figure it out, once she sees the appraisal I have just had in it. We had no children. So that question did not apply to me. I have nieces/nephews and they don’t want our things except electronics. Instead, we sell really great items for cash. This goes into savings. As household things come up, we pay for it. We do not touch our investments at this point. Everyone us in a different situation. And personally, relatives don’t need anything we have. Let them earn their own way in life, as we did. Buy their own things. I really prefer to sell these items. And I have a list of people and businesses who will pay my prices here in Denver, WY, MT where I do business with them. My true goal is to get more into a liquid asset state. Not things. I’m 74. Goals are very different these older years. Been doing this since 2020. It takes time to develop relationships to do this. I am a retired accountant. There are markets out there for everything. Let these relatives figure it out on their on. | 1) Is it in good condition? If not, trash it. I’ve seen broken items in thrift stores. They think someone will buy it. I don’t think so. 2) Would I buy it used? Yes? Donate it. 3) Will organization sell it for cash if it is a very expensive item? So why donate it? I learned to find local resources where to sell locally. Not online. Get cash myself to pay for our home needs. 4) How much overhead expense does tge organization have? If over 15%, then they don’t get my donations. These places sell to overseas companies in bundles. Clothing is bundled, for example. It us recycled, rested, remade to new clothing and fold back to USA consumers. So some will buy this. I will not. 5) Can I take a tax deduction for the donated items? What is their tax formula for figyring out what us donated? | Photos from 1800s |
| Katharine | If they’ll actually be able to use it, have space for it, If they’ll find value in keeping it for themselves or know someone who will appreciate it. If they’ll want to maintain it. Don’t want to burden them with something that’s not beneficial to them. | Who will not reject what I’m dropping off. I want to drop & go! | Grandma’s ceramic lg soup bowl & ladle |
| Anonymous user | The first factor is that they would be able to enjoy it. For example, I recently found out that a new friend of mine likes anchors. The conversation started because she had one on her shirt. After going through some jewelry, I decided to give her a pair of anchor earrings which used to be my mom's. She's been gone for 4 years and I decided it was better to give the earrings to my new friend vs. trying to "work it in" next summer's wardrobe. | The item needs to be of good use still. I mainly think about the fact that I'm not using the item and someone else could gain benefit from owning it instead of me. There are so many needy people in the world. If I can help them by giving something away not currently benefitting me, I'm willing to do it. | My friend's mother gave me a bracelet which was the SAME PATTERN as a necklace I owned. |
| Diane | I think about if they would like to have them. If they are excited or happy to receive the item it brings me joy. I don't force things on anyone, I only offer. | If I think the item can be sold I might try to sell it first. I won't bother if the price would be less than $30. That's my cut-off. If I can't sell it, I will try to find someone I know who might want it. If those things fail, then I will donate or use the local Facebook buy nothing group. I try to donate household items and furniture to our local charity that helps refugees. We have a community food box pantry that is unsupervised. I donate food once a week and try to include at least one item of clothing that is clean and in season, which I wrap in clear plastic so it won't get dirty. The clothes are always taken. | A faux diamond bracelet that I received |
| Anonymous user | do they want it, would it be useful (to them or me)... | do I care for the charity? can I get rid of this | sweater from grandma's friend |
| Anonymous user | The first and really only factor my husband and I consider is whether or not the person wants the thing. When we have things needing a new home, I will send photos to our six adult children to see if they want or can use the items. If they aren't interested, I put the item in a donate box or throw away if the item isn't worth a thrift shop's time and energy. For more expensive things costing a few hundred dollars or more, we will attempt to sell to help shore up our retirement savings, but if no buyers appear within a short amount of time, we will offer to our children and then other family or friends. | I consider the item's condition and the likelihood the item can be used or sold by the recipients. For more expensive items, I will consider the value and possibly try to the sell the item, but I have donated many pricier items because they are no longer serving me. | In August, with no warning, my mother decided to move to an assisted living facility. She loved to shop and had two houses full of stuff with many items never opened and clothes with tags still on them. I was particularly delighted to donate three large loads of household items to a thrift store that supports a women's shelter. I was told that women moving from the shelter into a home of their own would be allowed to choose items from the store to take with them. Picturing the women setting up their new homes brought much joy to me with every household item I removed from my mom's houses. |
| Anonymous user | I hope that they will be able to use and enjoy the things I give them | ||
| Karen | Usefulness, need, appropriateness | Condition, appropriateness | Floor lamp that I received through the Buy Nothing Group |
| Anonymous user | |||
| Cee | Question if they can use item . Consider if they are someone who collects and may not use. Don't want to contribute to someone else having clutter decisions to wrestle with. | Can someone else get good use from item. If not in good shape need to toss. | Baby items and clothes |
| Anonymous user | |||
| Anonymous user | I ask before donating to Charity, Library book sales, etc. | I check their acceptance list | A Linen top my sister had given our mother. She gave it to me a couple of weeks after our Mum's funeral. |
| Anonymous user | I try to give the right things to the right people. While executing my parents' estate, I gave the kitsch but rare Middle Eastern rugs and tapestries Mama & Daddy had inherited from the pre-WWII ME restaurant in Boston to my ME dance teacher. I gave the brass ME coffeepot & grinder & the narghilehs (hookahs, used for TOBACCO) to the ME deli around the corner, because we love each other. I gave Mama's Blue Jar to the woman who had given it to another woman who had given it to Mama. I packed up some major electronic instrument Daddy had installed in his workshop and shipped it to Daddy's nephew, also an Electrical Engineer. I gave Mama's detective fiction paperbacks to our Hospice nurse and Daddy's sci-fi collection to the social worker. Etc. | Will I need it? If not, can someone else use it? Do I support the goals of the charity etc., or do I care? | too many to count now, will return |
| Anonymous user | I always want to talk about the item with the intended Giftee first. I don’t want to burden anyone with unwanted stuff. When my husband, an amateur artist, died, he left many paintings in various sizes. There was no way I could bring into my new home when I downsized, so I took pictures of all of them, and sent them to my sister-in-law via email. She asked her children, my nieces and nephews if they were interested in the paintings. All of them wanted at least one of the small ones to remember their uncle by. my niece came and loaded up her car, mostly with the smaller framed pieces and took them back home for distribution. everyone was happy because they had chosen what they wanted. | ||
| Anonymous user | Is it useful to them. Does it match their personality, style etc. | Is it current. Is the item in prestine condition like a new present. | A prestine Hudson Bay blanket |
| Anastasia | If they will like them or find them useful. I hate to add to other people's clutter. | I hope they don't get thrown in a landfill. I sometimes worry I might need something that I am donating | Kids stuff toys |
| Anonymous user | I take very good care that people do not take stuff out of obligation. I always tell them, that I am totally okay for them to give it away. Maybe except when I especially knitted socks for this person. That bothers me a little. | I hope someone will get use of the stuff. But if not it's totally okay to me. | Delighted? Well if someone really likes an item that I don't like and subsequently is happing about getting it. |
| Kathy | History Some cousins don't have memory pieces have also released items to a 4 th generation. | If they have thrown china down it shows they don't have respect for donation so I have other outlets from that type of receiving placement. | Memories quilt given to a great great grandma daughter who shaved same birthday. Also collected a crystal set pieces to give my niece (but) due to an illness passed away early in life (so) instead gave the items to a single mom ...who was thrilled to have such beautiful pieces . |
| Maureen | I try to find out if it's actually something they'll use/need/appreciate. | Hopefully that someone else can use and the charity shop can make a bit of money at same time. | We have our parents nearly 40-year old Flexsteel sofa (my mother would only buy Flexsteel). |
| Em | Whether the person would like to have the item | Whether the item is in good enough shape that it will not be thrown away instead of being sold or re-donated | A string of unlikely events lead me to a woman's house to look at a piece of furniture. While I was there, a kitten broke loose from the kitchen and came running for me. It was adorable, show quality, a breed I had always longed to own: love at first sight. Weeks later, I got a call from the woman, offering me the kitten for free. She explained that she had to move, so had to abandon finding a buyer for the kitten and just wanted it to have a good home. It didn't take much time for me to commit to taking it, and we lived happily together for the next 17 years. |
| Alexis | That l am not creating a burden for them. Generally, l donate items to charitable organizations, libraries and community projects. | I feel they are providing an important service. I do not look upon the act as generous on my part. | A hand me down pot and a lid that l use almost everyday and will certainly outlive me. I have no real feelings about anything l have parted with. |
| Susan Marie | Their lifestyle, if they already have a similar item, if they have ever voiced interest in an item. Family things like jewelry passed down I offer to family members first. | It must be clean and fit for use. With clothing or shoes they must be in good condition, no stains or rips. I usually check their website as they might have posted items they need, and also some items they don’t accept. | When my mom was going into assisted living, she knew not to take any good jewelry w her, so she gave things to family members. Mom died in 2017, and I always wear the tiny diamond studs my Dad bought her many years ago. When I had them cleaned and the settings tightened, the jeweler said something like “ you couldn’t get them any smaller”, but they are precious to me because they were hers. I wear them every day in the top pieced hole in my ears. I feel like she’s close by. |
| Marsh... | Currently I am seeking to just LET GO....without wanting to have them appreciate or know this is valuable...It is hard for me to factor a financial value = to my energy or physical ability to move the item (s) out. So appreciate this new steps to think about as I factor in letting go and letting forward | I always factor in efficacy of condition, re-usable, clean and safe. | Favorite= My Great Grandfathers Arctic Coat (hand me down! Best re-gift is the old cast iron frying pan that has gone camping everywhere! |
| Julia | Whether they have a sentimental attachment to the item | If my items will fill a need or bring joy to someone else it is easier to let go. | I have a cut glass crystal vase that was a gift to my maternal grandmother for her wedding in 1925 |
| patricia | If they will appreciate it, use it and know I gave thought in giving it to them. If they are a bit of a free loader and one who takes but not gives as well. | If they will have a good cuase, and place where items will be sold for that worthy cause. If they operate a good, clean shop and business, if they give receipts fot taxes. if they get fussy as in - "we are only taking items for __" fill in the blanks. I had in shop reject clothing because " we are only taking items for our spring collection'. I kid you not. | I fabric quilet purse that I recievd for a gift, I really thought it was ugly, I loved the friend but hated the purse. |
| Theresa | Can family use it? Otherwise there is no consideration. It needs to go. | Is it in good condition? | Can’t recall. |
| Suzanne | Are they interested in having this item? If it’s something passed down from a parent or other family member I’m likely to offer it to family first as it might have some meaning for them. I don’t want to place any pressure on family or anyone. If I want to pass something to my children or nieces/nephews I do consider their age. Something might be of interest to them at 30 that is of no interest at age 15 or 20. This has been my experience. Who might this be of interest to? Do they actually want it? If yes it’s with the understanding that it is unconditional and they can do whatever they want with it hmm but if it’s an art piece, or jewelry, I’d prefer if they would offer it to a sibling before a stranger. I must share that there have not been items of value to pass down to me therefore I have no concerns about items of great $value. It’s nice to not have those pressures some people have. | I prefer to give to a shelter but when impractical (no way to transport) I’ll just give the items do a charity. Is this item right for donation (garbage, expired, soiled or damage go to garbage or recycling)? | Oh wow, pick one. I think maybe a little inexpensive fur stole an aunt was getting rid of when she greatly downsized. I wear it in the house sometimes when I am cold. My parents and grandparents, nor myself or siblings ever had fur, even in the freezingest weather. Would I buy fur? Not intentionally. |
| Anonymous user | Whether they may want or use them. | To see if they accept them. Do I need to clean, sew or repair it? The item seems good but one little thing may need to be fixed on it. Once, I do donate, I feel weight lifted or free. | The glass bride bowl from my great grandmother which she brought over from Germany (my aunt gave it to me) |
| Roberta | Whether they can use the item or like to have it. I usually ask if they would like the item, and if not, find some other person or place to donate to. | Whether anyone else would like in my family or others, first, whether it is in good shape, and whether they accept the item. | My late husband's tools; I gave them to a young man that would use them for his family and others. |
| Anonymous user | I definitely ask if they would like to have the item. If they do, fine & if they don't, that is fine too. I move it on for someone else to chose it at a charity like Good Will. If it is an expensive item and not outdated, I may as a few people if they want it..but if they say no, I donate it. I've never sold anything but I may try for one weekend at a flea market to sell about 100 items of clothing that still have tags on them. I will charge 1/3 of the price on the tag. If that sale does not prove useful..a one shot deal, they will get donated. My roommate was a fashionista and she passed away, leaving a hoard of clothes. Everything without tags on it, were already donated..abt 7 SUV loads of clothes went to charity. | I would like a receipt to deduct off my taxes. I like to donate to places where I like and agree with their mission. I have donated to a local library's jewelry and accessory sale..over 70 handbags, over 35 wallets and over 200 scarves. I donated art & crafts dupolies to my church's senior programming groups. I donated bigger bags that can hold clothing to a woman's shelter. I donate lots of things to Good Will & St. Vincent DePaul thrift stores. I had 2 roommates that I rented to that died from cancer and left a household of stuff for me to sort and get rid of. | Not sure. |
| Peggy | I only give to friends or family if I am okay with them discarding the item (donating or trashing), the same as I would be if I gave the item to Goodwill. Usually I just give directly to Goodwill. I only give to friends and family if I think they would find the item useful, but always say they don't have to keep it. | I use Goodwill as much as I can because of its convenience for me. They take everything I have donated, which saves me time. I also like that they hire people who might otherwise be unemployable. I am aware that people complain about them making money but I don't mind Goodwill making money because they are providing a service to people who need a place to donate to. | What comes to mind is a sweater my daughter didn't want but I know I have several things in this category |
| Rosalyn | If it is an item I don't need and it is not attached to family or other memories, then giving them away is liberatiing. If there are memories attached (e.g.. my children's toys that i want my grandchildren to use0 then it does bather me if they don't care for them too. Also faily heirlooms. | Hard to find charity to take these items. e.g. where can we donate books? | Children's books and toys. But prefer to give to my family. |
| Granny | First instinct is to give things to my younger daughter, who doesn't have a lot of spare cash. She also has access to groups who take donations and lend items out to people who need them. She will tell me if she wants an item or not or will find a home for it. If not, I'm happy to put it out on the sidewalk for people to pick up. I got rid of a set of dinnerware that way within an hour - someone walked by, I told them it was an 18-piece set and the next thing it was gone. (I had already replaced it - I have a big family and we still all get together sometimes). As for sentimental items, I haven't had to do that yet. I gave some jewellery in a box from my youth to my oldest granddaughter to do with as she likes - I haven't even asked her about it since! I only worry about framed family portraits in oil paint that have been in my family for generations and I'm not sure my children have space for (or want) them - what does one do with such items? Give them to a museum in the city from where they come? It would be very sad to give those away to strangers or sell them as they were very much part of my childhood. Wall space seems to be at a premium in modern homes... | Would the item(s) be useful to them. | A dress I got from my cousin when I was a little girl - I wore it at my 6th birthday party. It was white and had a layered skirt with trim on the edges. |
| Ria | Whether I think they would want or need, If I think they have a clutter problem themselves, If condition is such they might be insulted (needs refinishing, etc.), If they might want me to hold it for them (and I’m motivated to move it out) | If it’s good enough to sell, If I have too much of one item (I donated my late sister’s collection in batches over a year to multiple charity shops so not to overwhelm any one shop), If it’s something that might sell better on ebay and I know this shop has a team that puts things up on ebay. | A Christmas gift of a huge wool wallet in the style of a western horse blanket from a friend who gave some of the crappiest gifts ever. It went right to the donate box the day after I opened the gift. |
| Victoria | That it will be useful or bring joy | That it is usable | |
| Ginger | Do they want them? Have they expressed an interest in them? Have they mentioned needing or looking for an item like one I’m decluttering. Ex: Giving our Cuisinart food processor to a niece who loves to cook, has a big kitchen and wants to buy one. Ours is rarely used. I prefer a mini food processor. ▪️Once I gift away something - I have no more say in what they do with it. My one caveat are items passed down to me by family members. I ask them to keep it in the family if at all possible. ▪️Fortunately - we have an auction at our annual family reunion. So, those items are sold to the highest bidder with the back history documented. This year was our 53rd annual reunion. 3rd generation are taking on the responsibilities of reunion officers. | Are the items clean, in good shape, usable and commonly needed/wanted items? Depending on the circumstances. | My sister gave me an expensive round (60”) bamboo game table with 4 bamboo, Club chairs with newly upholstered seats. In 1982! I still use it. I love this set, but, it’s always been too big for the space and we’ve worn out the mechanics of the swivel club chairs. |
| Celina | it they're going to use it, if it's still in a good condition, if it's not overwhelming them with a sense of need for reciprocity. | if they're going to need it, the item's condition. Also, if it's still worthy of trying to sell it myself. | a small purse I found in trash (I wear it to work daily, somone put it NEXT to the containers, so it was clean. I will rebuy a similar one when this one gets too worn out. I like it so much I even repaired a hole next to the zipper inside on the lining. |
| Nicole | Will it be usable for the receiver? | Could this be of use for anyone? Is the item in good shape and not damaged or worn out? | Kitchen towels |
| Hila | Happiness Useful Ecology | Usefulness Ecological | |
| Michelle | Do they really want or need them. | Blessing others with things that no longer serve me or i know i will not be using again or re reading | Thrift store finds!!! Work and casual clothes shoes and purses |
| Linda | Following a house fire last year, we are finally at the stage of unpacking the storage unit holding most of our stuff. My criteria is to determine if we need/ have room for an item. If the answer is no, I have a list of potential people/groups I will offer it to-on the understanding that I don’t want my stuff to be someone else’s junk. | A buffet that I stored for 20 yrs that is now finding a space in our new home. | |
| Diana | I try to give items that will be used and/or loved, not items that will become a burden to the recipient. | If they will take it, I give it. I don’t know what others need or want. | Sweaters my mom made that don’t fit me to a dear friend who is a master knitter |
| Anonymous user | I want the people who get the items to want them. If someone doesn't really want the item, I rather have them tell me and I'll give it to someone else. | That someone can use the item or the organization will make money to do something useful. | I have gotten some clothes from Salvation Army that I have worn for years. |
| Kathy | If they could possibly want or use the item. I offer things to my three children depending on who I think could have a need or want the item. For example, I offered extra pie plates to the daughter who bakes. My other daughter never bakes. | I first try to evaluate if the item is truly donation worthy or needs to go in the trash. Then, my next criteria is how easy and quick is it for me to get it out of the house. | I received a cabinet from my parents years ago that they wanted to part with. It is a staple piece of furniture in my home and we plan to take it when we move. Second, I cross stitched a monopoly board which I framed. I no longer wanted it and was truly OK to throw it away. My daughter and her husband love the game and actually want it. |
| Jean | Just means I’m passing it on, it’s their call whether to accept it and what they do with it. | Maybe someone can use/ benefit from this. | |
| Anonymous user | whether they will refuse to take them at all so ponder if should just donate instead | if the donation center accepts said item | small dish from Grandma |
| Aimee | I don’t gift any items I own. If I think someone I know may want it, I ask them if they want it and then they can have it. I struggle with a hoarding disorder that runs in my family. I don’t want other people to give me their stuff and I don’t want to spread my disorder by passing on things someone else doesn’t want. I have a friend who was insulted when I didn’t come to her garage/yard sale. Sorry, but I don’t need your rejected items to become part of my problem. | Is it useful, clean, in good condition, and would someone else need or want it? If not, recycle or trash. | I don’t have any |
| Elizabeth | The item's usefulness, practicality, and it's value. | For general items such as household goods, clothing, decor, etc. I primarily consider condition making sure not to donate anything that is in poor condition. For special or sentimental items, I do think about donating them to places where the recipient will appreciate the item. | Items I received from my parent's estate that I use constantly. |
| Laurie | What is the reason behind me wanting to give this item to this person? Can this person use or enjoy this item or am I using the person to satisfy something within me. If it's all about me and my underlying discomfort of getting rid of the item, my intensions are wrong. I think it's best to ask the person if they would like the item and tell this person that I no longer need the item and am offering this to family and friends before donating it. | I find it easy now, I didn't used to, to let go of items I no longer enjoy or use as long as they have little monetary value. I have trouble donating when I know the item has a value of over fifty dollars and, it makes me freeze and hold on to the item! Then I think that maybe I could sell it or offer it to a family member, but I haven't done that very often. | I was delighted to give my five-year-old granddaughter several of the brooches that I have collected through the years for jewelry art I used to do. I got the brooches out and let her choose the ones she would like to have. The expression on her face of wonderment and joy truely touched my heart! |
| Anonymous user | It is important to know the individual, and about knowing their needs or wants. It is also important in knowing what you may you wish to give them, might actually bring them harm or stress. It is important to always ask if they want a particular item & be respectful if the answer is not to your liking. | If listing an item; it is important to state the condition of the item - in my experience, people always take something if is not in the best condition or needs a repair. It is important to be honest. If donating to a charity or organisation; it is important to consider whether the item is donatable & whether the organisation needs/ wants it. | Bread maker |
| Wanda | I hope I give them something they can use. | My grandmother's shall to my friend who was going to India for a retreat. | |
| Laurel | Do they want it? | Is it in good enough condition. | 30 sq foot plant. |
| Susan | If I've decided to get rid of something, I'll generally offer it to family members first. I might be a bit sad if they don't want it. However, it's no big deal. The next port of call is the charity shop. If not suitable for charity, I'll offer it on Freecycle/Freegle. | I'm only concerned that it will be saleable for the charity, and not a burden to them. Freecycle/Freegle is a last resort, but I've had great success with this. My only worry is security (having unknown strangers coming to my home). | Delighted to give away a bulky leather settee, that couldn't be taken by charity, as it lacked a fire safety label. Always good to see the back of bulky stuff! |
| Anonymous user | Their interests and personalities, timing and age- if a child’s taste is fully formed or if they might like something later on, if they will use it right away or soon (I found out my grandmother was influencing my cousin to keep things I gave her, and I no longer want to give her anything because she never uses it, just keeps it for years), if it’s creating a clutter problem for them, if someone else might have better use for it, | The charity’s cause, who it’s audience is, how easy it is for me to get to it, if I might be embarrassed by the items I’m giving (old artwork for examlple), how easy it is for them to duspose it if they don’t like it, if it’s usable or fixable, if I might miss the item later, I try to think it’ll maje my life better overall: if I’m gifting really good and expensive books, that I’ll be around smarter people somehow, and if I’m donating good clothes to people who don’t care much about cotton or quality, that they might now experience wearing clothes that might feel better - or they might not prefer this at all. Sometimes I try not to think about any of this, but trust that I’ll feel so much better with less things to worry about- and if these things are useful to someone else , hooray! And also to trust that if I’m somewhat careful about how and where I dispose of this stuff, it’ll somehow reach wherever it needs to reach- and the quicker I do this, the more likely it is. Easier said than done, though, sometimes. | A sweater from a friend’s older sister 🙂 and more recently, while on a one month trip, a real wool sweater that felt like a hug, and kept me so warm when I had to packed properly. Relieved to have given away some old artwork (still loads more), and some (not all just yet ugh) language learning books. The books felt like pressure, to study these languages and I also felt like they actually left no room for me to learn anything new from them because they were from college, and my brain kept being flooded by old memories of random things on the way to French class, rather than being able to take in the new stuff(!) still, even though so much language learning has gone online, I still still have Some books remaining (!) |
| Anastasia | Would they appreciate it? Do they actually want it, not just say they want it? Will they use it? WILL THEY SELL IT? | The condition of the item and will the charity be able to sell or distribute it as intended. | Some of my well-preserved concerts shirts to one of my students who loved the “old bands” of her parents’ youth. |
| Debra | When I offer something to someone (assuming they accept it) I tell them that if they eventually can’t use it or no longer want it at some point, they can do with it what they want. However if I am on the receiving end I ask if the person wants it back or if I am free to pass it on when I am done with it. Giving shouldn’t have strings attached. If it’s a loan, that has to be stated very clearly and the time frame attached has to be firmly established. Clarity prevents a lot of problems up front. | I want to know that they can use the item, i.e. that it’s appropriate to the place and I am not deferring my responsibility of properly disposing of garbage to the charity. I also want things to be clean and in good condition. | Being given my cat 🙂 But as for an inanimate object, a buffet/hutch from my friends. He had it in his office for years to hide his printer and then it ended up in the attic. I was chatting with them about storage issues and looking for something with specific measurements—and what they had fit the bill. Still love it. It holds all my paperwork at the bottom, and essential oils for soap at the top. |
| Teresa | it bugs me if I dont lke(hate, the person who will inheret the item. | I hope that my items bless whoever needs them | my whole closet of clothes. |
| Mary L | I always check first. I send a picture of the item and ask if they are interested. If no I move on. This mostly pertains their childhood items. This week I let 3 batches of things go. One misc items to big box charity, second the neighbor’s son and third to my church’s resale for specific items. Next Door app last week several things went for free. I find it easier to go for the easy stuff first and small batches. I watch you weekly on YouTube for a few years now. I never miss it. | Sorry I answered that in the previous question. I have a favorite charity resale shop for women and children. It’s truly a worthy cause. I give them my best items knowing it will go to a good home. Last year Ziffra gave them 52 glass candle wick style dishes of my mothers. I peaked a week later and the display was stunning. I was so happy. I kept a small sample of the items because it was my mom’s and was beautiful. I use them almost daily. I have no problem where they go from there. I had 25 Hummels from my mother. She collected them and yes she loved them. I appreciate the detailed beauty but only kept 2. Both are on display. That’s all I wanted. I’m older and need to let this stuff go. Slow and steady. It’s freeing. | Glass Pyrex loaf pan |
| Anonymous user | I ask myself if they need it, do they want it, will they use it and if really special, will they take care of it. If not. I should give it to someone or someplace else and not burden them with it. | Is it convenient, I have to rely on others to transport the items. Do I believe in the cause, and do I believe the do what they say. Do I just want it out of the house NOw/ | Beatiful piece of jewelry from my husbands family. |
| Valerie | Whether I think they want them or it is a good fit for them and if it's in good enough condition for someone to use. | Whether I would be willing to buy it myself. | Jewelry |
| Stephanie | I think about their lifestyle and I try to be mindful of what they may want/need. The frustration comes when I give something to someone after I ask them if they need something and then they ruin it by not properly caring for the item. | I want to make sure that it is something useful. | Our dining room table is the same table that my husband had growing up. |
| Anonymous user | Mostly, do they want it? And I might consider if they are in a position to care for something. I wouldn’t give heirloom jewelry to my granddaughter because of her current lifestyle but I might give to my daughter with the understanding that it should go to the GD when she can care for it. (Assuming the GD currently expresses an interest.) | I try to give to local charities that can use my donations. I don’t like to give to places that don’t take care of the stuff& just toss it in a bin. Glassware, china, etc. I usually give to thrift shops because they display it nicely. I one time gave away a huge number of cassette tapes and was somewhat distressed that the recipient came with a car stuffed with junk, possibly a hoarder. But I still gave him the tapes. | My cast iron frying pan that I got over 50 years ago when my parents’ friend’s aunt was going to a nursing home. |
| Amy | I ask them if they need/want them first and give them the option of receiving them so I’m not just shuffling my clutter to someone else. | I check to make the items are things they actually want/need/can accept. I like charities that align with my values, but even if I’m not 100%aligned I may still donate if the need is there and I don’t have better available options. | A pair of pretty upscale side tables I received from my Buy Nothing group. I had moved from out of state and was struggling to find a couple of bedside tables in my new area. They look amazing an |
| Denise | I almost never give things to people I know. I have a couple of friends and relatives who have homes very packed items that most of the rooms in the home are not useable. They have little pathways, like the hoarders shows that you see on TV. I don't want to contribute to their belongings. Also, many of my friends are my age (66+) and already have too many household items. I generally do not give things for family or friends. It is too time consuming to take photos, send emails, arrange pickups/drop offs etc, etc. I did recently declutter a tub of Xmas Village houses/stores/church/etc. They had originally belonged to my mother-in-law. She gave them to us shortly before she passed away in 2021. I didn't want them and my husband was ready to let them go last month. I asked our son if he wanted them and I was actually shocked when he said, "yes". I was pretty sure that he was going to say no, and I was prepared to take them to Goodwill. I have offered furniture, dishes, etc to my son many times and he almost always says, "No Thanks" and that is fine. No big deal. I know people who AGONIZE over which person to choose to receive a gift on Facebook Buy Nothing. People agonize over who is the "best" recipient or the "most worthy" recipient or most appreciative. I've heard people who complain that some people on Buy Nothing are greedy. I don't worry about the "right" or "best" recipient at all. I always give to the person who asks for it first or the person who can come and get it off of my porch the fastest. FYI - Buy Nothing is not my first choose for getting stuff out of the house - but it has been great for things that Goodwill won't/can't take like vacuum cleaners. And it was great for really large items like a ping pong table. My mother had a crazy amount of cleaning supplies that I put on BN. I generally dislike the posting of photos and the describing of items and would rather make a trip to Goodwill. But it is great for some things. My mom died while we were on COVID lockdown and I emptied her house by dragging things to the curb with a free sign. I was just happy to see them go and didn't worry about who was taking them. AND I rented TWO 20 yard dumpsters. Had to be done. | 1. Will they accept this item? For example, I live in a city with 500,000 people. Our animal shelter doesn't accept donations of old blankets or towels or half bags of pet food. They would have to build another storage building if every household dropped off old linens. 🙂 Many pets get diarrhea, etc when their food is changed thus, they ask for specific brands of pet food. 2. Is it store worthy? I don't like donating items to Goodwill/thrift stores that really should go in the trash. I've watched people declutter on YouTube and thought, "Ummmm... that isn't a donation. That should just go in the trash!". 3. How much tax deduction shall I take for this? I itemize taxes, so I like donating to Goodwill vs Buy Nothing. | I have an xmas tree topper and a xmas tea pot that I got at Goodwill in 1989, when we didn't have much money. I still have them and love them. I'm grateful that somebody donated them. |
| Anonymous user | 1) Condition must be good. 2) New owner must want it. 3) New owner can't be a hoarder. | 1) Condition--charities don't need trash. 2) Proper items for that place, i.e. old towels/ linens to animal shelter, nicer ones to women's shelter. | Ny parent's original black & white enamel turkey roaster. Has been used for 71 years. |
| Margy | I always check to be sure that they want it first. | That it’s clean and usable. That the charity is reputable. | I gave a big box of clean stuffed animals to SAFE ( Stuffed Animals for Emergencies). They go to police and social workers to be given to children in a crisis situation. I was happy to find a charity that wanted them. It was just before Christmas last year and the charity told me that the need was so great - the toys were being given out as fast as they came in. |
| Anonymous user | Can they use it, will it fit. Would they like it because of who it belonged to. | Quality of the item: Better items go to InterFaith, others go to thrift stores run by nonprofits. | Happy to give my husband’s many new t-shirts to grandchildren |
| Anonymous user | Usefulness | I hope they take it all | Last year I turned an ivory lace Christmas tree skirt into a lace collar for a student’s costume in the middle school play |
| Lee | If they have space for the items and/or say they will use the items or know someone else that needs it. | Is it useable ? Is it clean? Is it complete? no missing parts | I received a journal that belonged to my grandmother. |
| Darby | Is the item in good condition? Is it still working condition? Is it broken, but good for crafting/art/costume? | Is the item in decent condition? No stains or holes or frayed parts. | An art piece that was a gift, but was definitely not my style. Glad to have given that away. |
| Lynne | I want someone to appreciate the item as much as I do. I made and gifted a quilt to my 90 year-old dad for his afternoon naps. It killed me to see that his now wife wadded it up and tossed onto the floor in the guest room closet. I don’t even know if my dad knows. Just kills me when people don’t appreciate gifts/donations. | I donate if 1. Family doesn’t want it. 2. It isn’t worth it to sell on eBay | A bowling ball painted into a smiley face. I’ve gifted 2 and have one in my yard. |
| SM | 1. Is it part of our family's history? 2. Is the value in my head instead of actual money value? 3. How much would the item be worth in time and effort to try to sell it? My time is worth at least $15 -50 per item, by the time I clean it, list it, deal with questions, get it picked up, etc. If it's worth less than $50, why not just give it for free or donate it ? 4. Do they need the item more than I do? | Is the charity a true known non-profit (like the Salvation Army) or is it a thrift store that resells donated items to make profit for the ownersl (like Value Village)? Can someone we know/trust vouch for the shelter or recipient? Clothing of my MIL's went to a Women's Shelter that a friend works at. She had vetted it and I trust her judgement. Some things from my parents' home went to people unknown to us who were known to others in the community. If they needed it and we had it, we gave it freely. | |
| Anonymous user | It depends on the items. If the items are not connected to family members, I just ask the potential recipients if the item is something they want. If the answer is no then I don’t take it personally. I just try to find someone else who might want the item or give it to a charity. If the item is from a family member, especially one who is deceased, I try to find a family member who is interested in honoring that person’s memory. Special handmade items can give one a feeling of connectedness that seems to be so lacking in our world today. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling every time I open the hope chest my grandpa, who only had a 3rd grade education, made for my mother . I never got to know him since he passed on before I was born so it and the few pictures I have of him gives me a connection to him I would otherwise not have. | First, I make sure the item is in good condition. Then if no family member wants the item, I consider which organization would take the item. Some charities only take certain things so I want to donate the item to a charity that will benefit the most from the donation. | A sweater that my sister found at a thrift store and gave to dad. When he passed on mom gave it to me. It zips up and is very warm. Just what I need in the winter. |
| Anonymous user | If it fits their decor aesthetic and whether or not they are trying to downsize. | It is easier for me to donate than having a garage sale. The garage sales never seem to happen. I am selective about where I donate -- those that support animal shelters or hospice are my first pick. For profit thrift shops are my last choice. | The oak kitchen table that I inherited from my mother. Growing up, we shared many family meals at that table. |
| Anonymous user | Do they want the item? Will they make use of the item? | Will the items be accepted? Will the items be thrown out? Are the items things that can be used by the recipient? | An old fashioned pitcher with paint worn off from years of use that came from my grandparents. I'd always loved it and was thrilled when it came to me. |
| Lynn | Is it something they want or need? Is it something they collect or a part of a hobby of theirs? | Can I lift it into my truck? Is it clean and in good condition? | I gave a relative of a Mexican bee keeper things to take with her when she visited. items from mom's bee collection included porcelain queen bee dolls, figurines, jewelry, bee fabric and a beehive checkerboard. had been looking for a special person to give this stuff to and found her as a customer at my garage sale. she cried and so did I. |
| Laura | I do feel like I have to find the right place to donate my stuff. It has kept me from donating anything. | What place can most use what I have? Not Goodwill. It has to be a place who really needs my stuff. I don’t want my stuff to burden someplace that is overwhelmed with donations. | My kids’ chalkboard/whiteboard easel. |
| Judy | Do they really need what I am giving them? I don’t want to give them things they will need to dispose of in someway themselves. | Do they need it or could they use it. | Cars - we gift to our daughter and she is always glad to take them. |
| Anonymous user | It needs to be in good condition. I would be embarrassed to treat something as a gift that wasn't in nearly new condition. | It needs to be reasonably clean and in working order. All the necessary parts are there. | I purchased a nice, somewhat pricey, leather attaché that I thought I could not survive without. And then I never used it. It was very gratefully accepted as a gift from a recent high school graduate. He was clearly pleased to get it and that made me very happy. |
| Evelin | I give clothes that are in good condition to a friend who has told me that she appreciates it a lot but I try not to overdo it. | I think about if I would like to receive something in this condition. | |
| Marla | Will the items be a burden to the person I am giving them to Noe so they really want/need them. I find it easier to donate items to charities rather than family and friends. | Are they useful and in good condition | Great grandmother’s earrings |
| Michele | Value, want, need, timing | Useful life of item going forward | I am proud I gave away my beautiful pink kitchen aid mixer because it’s valuable and I didn’t use it anymore. Nice to have the counter space back but equally happy that someone else likely was thrilled to find it at the habitat for humanity |
| Lela | Who would appreciate and utilize it most. | I want the item to go away quickly and easily. Also, which place will use it to help others, rather than simply make profits -- for example, a small charity near my home uses their profits to run a food bank for the needy. | My grandmother's wedding band, which I wear along side my band every day (hers was very thin). |
| Pat | I want it out if my house! Once they have it, they can sell it, use it, donate, pitch it. My goal is to get it out if my thoughts and I need more space! | I donate good condition items who can use it. Once released, it’s out of my brain. All items wind up in landfill in future date. I give useful items to charity, not crap. | Old photo originals passed to family |
| Catie | Value of the item, if I think they WANT & WILL USE it. | Get it out of the house, someone can use it. | Outdoor Table |
| Janice the broccoli cooker | I hope they get use out of it. If they don't want it I strongly, strongly prefer they say thanks but no thanks, I don't have a use for it, or I don't care for it, please give it to another, etc. Then I wonder, if they wonder, what I was thinking to select that person as a recipient. Sort of an example is, a school mom said to me when I was in line with my child: " hey this broccoli I made last night stinks when I cooked it, I will give it to Janice ( me) because she knows how to cook it." Everybody sort of collectively gasped at that, but her intention was good. So . I guess when someone has stinky broccoli they think of me !!!! because I am a Vegan and I know how to cook that stuff, but what a way to say it! And so does it go with things, like (me to proposed recipient)" This brooch is pretty and would go nice with your red hair," for example, and the proposed recipient might say "Hey this old brooch reminds me of my grandmother in the nursing home and how weak and sickly she was, no I don't want that brooch, why would you ask me such a thing?" So, gifting is tricky, at least in my experience, so I greatly prefer to give it to the universe ( Goodwill) with no strings or hurt feelings. I know some people don't have a problem with gifting at all, but it has always backfired on me. Letting it ALL go with anonymity works for me. | Is it clean, working , modern, useful and something I would want in my home? Is it full of pet hair, or dusty, or so old it is brittle or dry rotted somehow? Trash. If nice, give. I used to take my heavy duty long winter coats I no longer needed in my trunk. I worked in the inner city in a hospital with a lot of poverty and homelessness. I would put $20 in the pocket and when I saw someone about my size huddled outside I would give them the coat and tell them to look in the pocket. I did not expect any thank you, but it sure felt good to help someone with something useful. It would have helped more if I could give them a warm place to stay, it is all a matter of perspective. Give what you can but make sure it is nice, and useful. | I regifted a set of hot curlers from my new mother-in-law because I had curly hair, but she never saw me with my natural hair because I always straightened it. So, I was delighted to give it away to someone who wanted curly hair and I still loved her thoughtfulness. |
| Jennifer | Need- if someone has just moved into a new place for the first time, they may need things like dishes and other kitchenware. If they're a hobbyist, passing along craft supplies and tools. | If the charity treats people well. (The Salvation Army is utterly wretched; they fund anti-LGBTQ legislation and refuse to help transgender people, to the point where someone froze to death in a horrible winter storm because they were not allowed into a shelter. Google the news articles on this- they're really awful and un-Christian in their attitudes.) | I have a giant cat tree for my floofs that was gifted to me when the cats of a friend of mine passed away and I still have it ten years and two cats later, and the other is a solid wood "cube" that folds out into a workshop space for sewing and crafting, and then folds away again to save space. |
| Cynthia | Whether they want it and will use it or are just being polite. | Whether it goes to a good cause. | When I moved I was glad to give all my furniture away to a group that helps children and families. |
| Millie | My family lives out of state and has too much crap of there own. All I consider is where is the closest thrift store that is accepting donations at this very minute? | Can this item still be of use to anyone, ie.. not stained or broken. | My father-in-law's old clothes. He gave them to my husband who told me to drop them off at the thift store. I didn't because I though my father-in-law might want/need them back (they were still in good condition). The bag of clothes sat in the closet for a couple of years until he died. Then it dawned on me he didn't need them anymore and I wanted my closet space back. I promptly brought them to the thrift store like my husband asked me to do in the first place. |
| Anonymous user | I am an older adult. At this point in my life if either of my two children (adults) show an interest in one of my possessions I try to go ahead and give it to them. I have too much stuff! Within the last few years I have had to dissolve several households as relatives have passed away. It is not a fun job. It has made me realize that just because I value a thing, others may not. I have also begun trying to share with my children why I valued something. | I try to think through all those questions you guys say to think about when decluttering. When is the last time I used this? Can I purchase another one if I need it? Is this a duplicate? What do I need it for? | I have my grandmothers red coffee perculator. |
| Becky | Is it something they would enjoy, something they would appreciate it, something that they will use, was it something given to me as a gift, is it valuable | Is it something I want anymore Could someone else really use it- ie quilts, cots, furniture, appliances, etc. | My mothers nursing pin |
| Becky | If it is something they are interested in owning. If nobody I know wants something I have no problem giving to charity. | If it is in good condition. I don’t want to give away junk that really should go to the dump. | I received my grandmother’s cast iron skillet which I still own |
| Anonymous user | Would they like or need this. Coworker just moved into her own apartment so I asked if she needed cookware. Sent her a picture and she asked if I could bring to work. I gave her three matching pots. 6qt, 3qt and 2qt. She later sent me a picture of the beautiful meal that she cooked for herself. | Is if useful or broken. Can it be used for parts. I want to keep things out of the landfill. | My minimalist friend regifted to me a silicone popcorn maker for the microwave |
| Mary | Who it is and does the recipient want or need the item. Will the person take care of the heirloom or antique furniture? Unfortunately I do have family members who judge things based on cost or value, and if they want to be bothered with it. | Is it something that can be used if it has been previously worn or are new items needed, like for a women’s shelter? If it’s furniture or appliances, can they pick it up? | A small lamp with a stained glass shade. |
| Lauren | Is this item something person X will like? Will use? Should I ask X if they want it? | Is this item in good enough shape to donate? I.e., clean, in working order, have all pieces, no holes or tears, etc. If the item is in good shape, which charity is best? Tools or large appliances go to Habitat for Humanity ReStore while clothing goes to Salvation Army thrift store. | Georgio Armani jacket - hands down the best clothing I've ever owned. It was a joy to wear and to let go to the next person. |
| Karen | Will they appreciate the thought that went into gifting them | No emotional attachment or no longer need or use. | Children’s Tupperware sets |
| C | I always ask: "can you or someone you know find a use for this?" I also say, " if you can't use it, or don't want it anymore, pass it on." I avoid saying "throw it away", as I don't like that idea at all.. | Is it useful, in good condition, something i might like to buy... | A rain jacket from a friend whose spouse had passed away |
| Name (click to view full survey response and comments) | What factors do you consider when you’re thinking about giving things away to family members, friends, neighbors, or other people you know? | What factors do you consider when you’re thinking about donating items to a charity, shelter, or unknown recipient? | What is your all-time favorite hand-me-down, cast-off, or regifted item? |
I always like seeing everyone’s comments. I’m surprised not to see mine here for this survey. I wonder if I submitted it after you collated the data or if it wasn’t received. Curious.
Diana,
I see one response from a Diana—is it not yours?
It takes me a little while to review and approve the survey responses, but I like to give each one at least a quick glance, just to make sure that I don’t post any inappropriate responses from troublemakers.
Please let me know if yours is still not showing up.
Thanks,
Ed