The Clutter Fairy Weekly Survey #229 Results
Myths, Misconceptions, and Limiting Beliefs
Below are the results of our survey released in preparation for episode #229 of The Clutter Fairy Weekly. If you haven’t already done so, please take the survey.
Responses
To view the complete, detailed survey response from any respondent, click on their name (or “Anonymous user”) in the table below. You may also find it easier to read long responses in the detailed view.
| Name (click to view full survey response and comments) | Describe a myth or misconception about clutter or organizing that you believed in the past, but have now come to see as incorrect. | Describe a limiting belief that negatively affects your ability or willingness to address your home organization issues. | Here’s your chance to ask Gayle and Ed any question you’re curious about. |
|---|---|---|---|
| Anonymous user | I'll finish that project when I retire. | ||
| Aunt JuJu | I think the myth would be that I expect the task to require a certain amount of time. However, time blindness kicks in and it takes much longer than expected. | I believe that for me, my clutter is a symptom of unresolved trauma. If I clean my clutter, I'll need to deal with my emotional issues. This limits my time of working on my clutter to when I am in a place to deal with the issues it brings up. | I have been decluttering for years and it seems like I do not make too much overall progress, although I work at it quite often. Part of that is because I am too detail oriented and so I learned to macro-organize..like just use one basket for all paid bills instead of filing them in individual folders. The other issue I have is that 2 friends that I have rented a room to (at separate times) have passed away in my home, leaving all of their earthly possessions behind for me to sort through and get rid of. I completed getting rid of the first room mates belongings to make room for the next roommate. The latter passed away in 2021 and I am still donating her things.my basement is filled with her stuff. Now, I am caring for my 97 year old aunt and am cleaning her home out to prepare for selling it.so the progress I've made with decluttering, has been filled up no longer after with other's stuff. I ended up allocating a room for storage of other's things to get the items out of the cars and living areas. This leaves me overwhelmed on a daily basis. Any free time, I spend decluttering. I look at the clutter and it speaks to me..more like yells at me and it brings on negative feelings. Any suggestions to help me try to calm the overwhelm or clever methods to get this stuff done in an organized way will be helpful. Thank you. |
| C | "You have to take everything out before you can start." Dana from Clutter Comes Clean , No Mess Method showed me how this was all wrong for us folks w ADHD | "I'm so easily distracted" which is true basically, but I can do things in short spurts. I do have a lot of started things everywhere, and that is truly a burden. | Once you do get someone to help you out , as a friend or for pay, how best to state what you want without sounding rude or demanding. |
| Carol | If I don’t want to do it I’m either lazy, or a procrastinator. I was told that I am actually a perfectionist. Then I remembered having problems in school at 6 and 7 years old getting an assignment completed on time. Everything had to be situated perfectly before I could begin. My oldest son changed my mind about getting started. He said, “Just do something!” It’s ok if it’s not perfect, just start. | Just shut the bedroom door after moving stuff in there and deal with it after company leaves and then don’t revisit the clutter or box of clutter hidden in that room. | I know how to clean, I just want to understand the best way to get started organizing without having or thinking I have to buy more storage supplies, or a storage building. Also, is there any time you’d think it would be a good idea to rent a storage building? I know that you teach about these subjects over and over, but a refreshed memory is ok for me if you don’t mind. Thanks. |
| Intignia (inn tig (as in pig) knee ah) | Progress is better than perfection. | ||
| Ellen in W Michigan | There is one "right" way to organize and the important thing is how it looks. | Getting rid of something I might later need or want is wasteful. You should never have to buy another of something unless you have completely worn out what you had. | |
| Peggy | I just need more containers to organize all my stuff. | I can't get rid of old calendars and the like because what if I need to know where I was that day in 1999??? | How do you handle a truly hoarding situation? |
| Jean | Getting organized is not the primary goal, declutter first! So much of it can GO! As I declutter, and then again in a few months, I can’t believe I kept so much on the first pass through. | ‘I might need this’ Nope! | What to do with old vacuum cleaner? |
| Karla | My most dreaded decluttering is with Family and Friend photos. Most are in albums others are separated into categories and in photo boxes. I need to do this so when we move every 6 months we do not have to lugs 3 large totes back and forth | I need to come up with storage solutions that will work in our RV and also the place we rent in the winter. The challenge is we never stay the winter in the same place. So our organization solutions need to be flexible. | |
| Hila | I thought that that a lot of storage spaces help to be organized. But habit to put stuff in place help to be organized. | I will never finish my decluttering project | |
| PJ in Wiltshire | "You're lazy and undisciplined if you have a messy house - everyone else can stay on top of things so why can't you?" I believed this for years, and I didn't know how to change it because it was overwhelming - then I discovered decluttering videos on YouTube! I've been watching ClutterFairy videos for years now - encouragement, support, and practical tips from lovely people like Gayle & Ed helped me tackle different areas over time, and now it's manageable and people actually compliment me on my home. I've always known it was wrong to make people feel small if they're overwhelmed by their home, but now I also know I'm not lazy (because I've made a difference - I just didn't know how to start before!). | "You'll never have a home as nice as those photos you see online." This is probably true, but now - having watched so many ClutterFairy videos - I know this is unrealistic anyway. Those influencers spend hours arranging a room, and only show it from one angle in the photo. They might have a team of people helping them. I just want a home that's clean, and warm, and welcoming, and low-maintenance. I have that - and I'm grateful. It's not Pinterest-ready, and that's ok. | I've just experienced the opposite of what you talk about in many videos - I've actually been lucky to upsize. I moved from a 45m square cottage to a 130m square apartment. The cottage was very cramped, and over 6 years there I donated or threw away half of my stuff, which I was really proud of. Now that I'm in the bigger place, I'm worried that I'll start to fill it up again. I have LOADS of space for new pot plants and bookcases... how can I keep a check on myself & keep the volume of stuff manageable? |
| rowan | getting rid of just a few things will not make a difference, so why bother. I have just recently found this to be wrong. Also, just five minutes won't make a difference. also wrong. | believing that I need to get my housemate on board, or do everything for him. (and in general believing that everyone expects me to fix everything for everybody) | |
| Linda | “The best way to declutter is to pull everything out of a space at once.” This doesn’t work for me. Things go better if I examine a space and try to pluck out things that I’m ready to part with and put those things in a box for donation or a bag for trash. Once I’ve pared things down, I may remove the stuff I’m keeping so that I can clean the shelf or drawer, but even then I wouldn’t pull it all out at once. | It is a catastrophe if I let go of something that would have been useful or helpful down the line. Now I remind myself that I can probably figure out something else to use, do without or replace the item if needed. | Looking back, what would you tell your 20-something self about accumulating stuff? |
| Erin G | I'm not sure if this is exactly what you are asking about but... I've learned it's ok to have times when the house is a bit more "dense" with items because of a specific project. We are trying to be producers, not just consumers in our home so we have a lot on the go during the growing season. I now realize that when we are in production mode (ie: starting our garden plants indoors or harvesting and processing those veggies in waves over the summer) we have more temporary/active clutter (is that a thing?) in our living spaces. Because it is so visually impactful to have all flat surfaces covered with tomatoes, for example, I used to chafe at the "clutter." But that kind of temporary item is not the same thing as old sporting goods jammed in the back of a closet for 5 years. 🙂 But it all used to get equal weight and stress me out. | oh boy. All of the above. Sometimes I go into my room of doom and get so discouraged. There is a constant OPPORTUNITY to reframe those negative thoughts. | I'm struggling to tackle an unfinished room that has become a default storage area for crafty bits, old art projects and memorabilia. (I recently put in a single bed to carve out a clutter-free area. My rule is: nothing gets stacked on the bed.) I'd like to convert the room to a worker space and office. However, it is located next to our dining and living space. But wouldn't you know it, as soon as I set up a sorting station in the living room and have started pulling out boxes, we get to host someone and back it all goes, out of sight (sometimes in more of a jumble than before depending on how much notice I have of my visitor(s).) Rinse and repeat. It's getting frustrating. Any advice welcome! |
| Sue | You need to keep it - just in case! Also before I invest in a new piece of kitchen equipment, say a pressure cooker - I will be a second hand one first to see if I use it enough to find a space for it at my house... | I know where everything is without it being organised | Question for Gayle: do you regret any of the things you moved into your new space that could have been donated etc before the move Question for Ed: I miss seeing you both on utube...you uploaded the podcast version last week. |
| Gabriella | I want to sell all my decluttered items that I could possibly make some money on. | If an item "sparks joy", even though I have no use for it, I should let it sit around - and occupy valuable space! | How are you advancing with unpacking and organizing your new home, Gayle? I'm asking this very cautiously: Could you imagine image giving us a home tour once things are the way you want them to be? You could let us in on your reasoning behind your organization decisions to make the new space fit your life. Just a question. I do respect your need for privacy. |
| Amy | "I'll definitely need this at some point in the future, and I very well might not have the money needed to repurchase it OR I will discover that it's no longer available to be found anywhere at any price." Don Aslett (from back in the day) and Gayle Goddard/Ed Gumnick have been a tremendous asset to me in helping to adjust my mindset over the years. | "This 3100 square foot project is too big to handle on my own, and no one else is interested in doing it with me." "I don't have the time, energy, or modern-know-how to sell the stuff that would bring big bucks to me. Still, it feels wasteful to just throw it all away, when I truly do need the money out if it. Even small prices would add up to large a money deposit in my bank account." | How can I get over the financial guilt of setting things out for Urban Pickers and garbage men to haul away when I know we need the money but I just don't have it in me to sell the stuff. Thirty years ago, twenty years ago, and ten years ago, I had garage sales that netted $6,000 to $10,000 every time. I just don't feel I can do that anymore, and I feel guilty about it. |
| Anita | “You’re expected to keep the things that are handed down to you. “ My mom kept all she could of items from her mother and grandmother. Decades later I see with my own eyes that much it has not been used or treasured by my generation, and even less will fit the lives of our kids | I don’t have the skills or real desire to thin and manage all the photos and digital stuff | |
| Carrie | That I had to keep every book I ever owned. Yikes! | If I clean, things will get dusty again, so why bother? | |
| Anonymous user | It’s so overwhelming to get started | How can you get rid of years of stuff so you can put in furniture and feel calm | |
| Yvonne | "Once you know your organizing style, maintaining home organization will be a breeze." "Zone cleaning will break the cycle of constant clutter overwhelm." | Clutter is a symptom that there is something deeper going on. | |
| Anonymous user | A clean desk is a sign of a sick mind. (LOL) | ||
| Anonymous user | It was SO inexpensive and if I throw it out and then need it, it will cost too much | I think extreme clutter helped makes me feel SO FAKE with my friends...is that common ? | |
| Laurie | One pass through your house and you will be decluttered for good. I've found that having decluttered for many years now that it takes time and a lot of decision making and also, it's more of a part of my life to declutter than just a project. | I can't get rid of my family heirlooms from my parents and my grandparents, I have to keep passing them down even if I don't want them. | |
| Evelin | I must never get rid of books. "I need more space/containers/wardrobes/dressers" - no, I just need less stuff. | I never use it but if I get rid of it now then I will need it in two weeks. I need all this stuff to survive. | |
| Lala | I was saving stuff to sell when money got short. Now I find I don't have the patience to sell each thing for it's full value. I'm selling or giving away stuff by the boxful, but there's more than enough left. What a job! I thought I could do it, but I now know I can't. Wish me luck! | I've never had a neat & organized home, ever. I wonder what that would look like for me. | I've never had a neat & organized home, ever. I wonder how do I do that. I've really no idea where things should go, how much to keep handy, how much to store in a closet, or kitchen things either. I'm really lost. |
| Celina | "If you haven't used it for an X-amount of time, time to trash it". There are some things e.g. craft supplies, that just need to wait for you to be done e.g. with some degree/job project that eats up all your free time. But one day it'll be better. | I sometimes worry though that I won't ever be done with my cratf supplies hoard 😀 (so I have been using an algorithm: using up 5 of each kind allows me to buy one e.g. 5 pieces of fabric o buy one new, five bags of beads to buy one new, etc etc.) | I have to catch up with the episodes so no questions for now. Lots of love from Poland to Gayle, Ed and all viewers 🙂 |
| Anonymous user | 1. “It’s all my clutter, my mother is sooo organized.” Myth. She has kept things from my childhood and other- that I had long let go of. Just because it used to belong to me, or was bought for me- it doesn’t mean that it is currently mine. 2. It’s impossible to declutter. Myth. Every bit counts. 3. “Decluttering happens by getting rid of stuff.” True, but a lot of my decluttering happened as a result of a “buying fast” that forced me to go shopping in my own closet, and then really look at and consider things I had put aside. Some of these got used as is, some donated, some used after tailoring alterations - and this cleared up A Lot! | All of the above assumptions, plus- certain things will never enter my life because I have not decluttered and the universe only fills empty spaces. Plus, I will feel a lack of abundance if the space is so empty (has not been entirely true). | Suggestion for tittle: do a load if laundry. Synchronize yourself and use the washing machine working as a co-working time. Tittle 2: put aside good things you could regift over the holidays. If you are in any gift swaps, agree that the swap can be with regifted or new clutter (with tags or simply bought but not used) items. See what comes. If you can’t do this, try adding a previously loved item to the brand new storebought gift if you know the person well enough. Tittle 3: shop in your own closet first for holiday wear. If traveling, observe how little you need over the days of travel. |
| Ginger | I had a paradigm shift with Marie Kondo’s book - The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying. I had always viewed the decluttering as “what do I want to get rid of?”. After reading her book - I began to think of it as “what do I want to keep?” It’s a different perspective. I didn’t want to get rid of useful things. That seemed wrong. Wasteful. But, after flipping the script - I realized I didn’t want to keep useful items that I don’t reach for to use. That’s really wasteful. Set these things free to live out their useful life with someone else. I became creative about where I could offload items. I also became more thoughtful about items I brought into our home. | I need to wait until I have a block of “good energy” time. Decluttering that room is going to overwhelm me with decisions to make and take too long. I’ll just make a bigger mess, become frustrated and give up. ▪️I fight this line of thinking often. When I’m thinking clearly - I assess the project, determine what I’m dealing with & take a few pics. Then, I take a few minutes to look at the pics (arms-length perspective) to list next steps and make decisions about where it goes. Next - I can go straight to the room and immediately take actions. The decisions are pre-made so it’s faster. And, if I need to pause - I can return to my checklist after a break. | Do either of you have a regular decluttering routine for your own homes? If so, what does it look like? |
| Ria | “I have to devote a huge amount of time to go through and organize everything in one succession.” I know appreciate the small bites of 5 or 30-minute decluttering or organizing sessions and know the reality of decision fatigue. | After all I’ve achieved in decluttering a mountain of things, I still feel overwhelmed to get the volume down to an even more manageable amount. I am stuck in procrastination, making such baby steps I anger myself. | |
| CHRISTINE | Misconception.: My own relatives will want my "valuable" stuff... like my best furniture, dishes, etc. What changed my mind. is that they will not accept most items...even though I offer many times. And even worse, I think they were annoyed with me, about how many times I kept offering things for them to take. I think I crossed over into the "pushy" area, about this. Just one example was a kitchen hanging pot rack, that was costly for me, ...but it will not work out for when I downsize. So I continually offered it to my relatives, but no one wanted that style. Thank goodness that Habitat for Humanity gratefully accepted it. | Gayle, I am so sorry about your bad knee. I understand , because I could not walk on one foot. Ironically, it is an Organizing item, that is helping me the most to heal my foot! I was already relying on some useful, sturdy rolling carts to help me organize, . But when when I injured my foot, I have been using these carts as "walkers" all over the house. . Now I can hang on to the rolling cart, as I push it around, and it holds all the stuff I need to work on, or put away in another room. Rolling carts are essential to use in hospitals, offices, and airplanes... and now they are essential for me to help heal my foot. | |
| Brenda | Being neat is the same as being organized. Being organized at home simply means I have a system for my things that helps me live more efficiently. For me it is putting something where it is used most often. Or like Gayle says, "where would I look for it." | Decluttering takes too long My whole house needs decluttering But I need to remind myself that it took years to get this way Just do a bit at a time and soon I start to see results I like before and after pictures | |
| Katharine | Shifting items around the house would solve the problems. I needed to find more products to store things better. Neither worked 🤓 | Unless I’m willing to live as a minimalist, I’ll never be able to maintain the items in my house. | How to find the balance of how much items to move on or keep. I recognize the days I have energy & all is well. There are also days that energy is lacking & suddenly there’s too much stuff around me. Overwhelmed by it, nothing changes. How much is too much that causes overwhelm? How to know what to keep or move during those days. Maybe if enough items are passed on, during low energy days- possibly no overwhelm? |
| Danetta | I can keep every book, every hobby and project, every friend, and every outside activity if I can just find the right way to organize it all with lists and planners. Long life has taught me that I can do many things, just not all at the same time. The hardest thing for me is to narrow down my annual goals at the start of each year. | I’m pretty optimistic about decluttering while recognizing that it is a slow layered process. | |
| Lela | “Once you do a thorough round of decluttering & organizing, you will be thrilled with your efficient home.” This idea rang true for me, but only briefly. My mother & I changed my ideas about this. I think over the years we have almost become addicted to decluttering & haven’t found an endpoint where we are content to maintain the status quo. The older I get, the more “stuff” gets on my nerves because most “stuff” represents unnecessary work & responsibility to me. I am so much less sentimental than I used to be, which perturbs a few of my family members. | …Can’t think of one…I am always willing | |
| Agatha | I used to think I have the bandwidth to keep on top of everything. | I can't do all this by myself. My home is too small, hardly any storage spaces. | |
| Cynthia | That something I have had since I was a child would have meaning to someone else. | That once I give away something that has sentimental significance I will never get it back and someone (kids) might wish they had that item. | What criteria would you suggest should be considered to create a manifesto to come back to when stuck by a clutter impasse. And, what situation would cause a break from that aim? |
| millie | My misconception is that I could put things off until I was older or next year, or when I'm retired, etc.. It has dawned on me that physically I may not be able to easily unload my stuff in the future. I need to get rid of stuff NOW while I'm able to lift the box and drive it to the thrift store. I know some ladies who are past this point (no longer can drive and/or are physically weak using walkers and canes) and are stuck in hoarded houses. I don't want to end up like that! Second misconception: my stuff is valuable. If you believe that -- visit your local thrift store! | I might need this! I'm talking about paper items here. Most physical stuff can be replaced. | |
| Mary | Decluttering was the same as organizing.,I know now it’s a myth. Married 47 years and 3 kids and all the memorabilia is a giant task. | Decluttering takes so much time. I have other responsibilities. | What is both your styles of decluttering? |
| Theresa | I thought I'd get decluttered and organized after I retired, but I don't have the energy I used to. Feels overwhelming now when I used to be able to handle so much. | My efforts aren't making a noticeable dent (spouse is a shopper and a "collector") | Would you consider an episode (or maybe you have already) on what to say and how to (if/when possible) encourage a spouse to stop collecting and saving? Spouse knows our adult children don't want things. I have cleaned out packed homes of older relatives and don't want my children to go through that. |
| Brienne | I used to think that decluttering would make my house stay organized. I now know that if I don't spend time tidying it every day, it can get as messy as ever, even having done a considerable amount of decluttering | I'm too absent-minded to keep track of where I keep things, so I may as well not even try to organize | How can we declutter one-of-a kind items (like rare books) that have a niche fan base? I worry that if I donate them they will be thrown out, or someone will charge a ton of money to resell it. I want these items to get to someone who will use them and get them at a fair price, but don't know anyone personally who wants them. |
| Sandra | I suffered for a long time from the endowment effect: anything that was mine, I HAD TO keep. | I thought it would be too time consuming to declutter, especially because most of what we owned had a place somewhere in the house or shed. Of course I realized later on that having less stuff saves time too. | My husband stores everything (yes, everything) at eye level. Do you have a cure? |
| Anne | Does it bring me joy? No, mostly guilt if I get rid of it! | It’s just too much and I will get discouraged and never finish. | ❤️ |
| Anonymous user | Something’s wrong with me or it wouldn’t be like this. | It will only get dirty again! | How Much does a llama weigh? |
| Anja | Mari Kondo wrote, that you could declutter once and for all. Nope, decluttering needs everyday maintenance. There is no easier way. | I thought finishing decluttering was necessary but that is also not required or possible. And I do not need to be "a minimalist". Minimalism is a life style choice. | |
| Lynn | Myth: if you can't see it, it isn't clutter. After needing over a year and many trips to donation centers, I can say that an enormous amount of clutter can be hidden from sight, especially if the storage containers and furniture keep growing with the clutter volume. | Myth: I might need it some day. Myth: It is for a half-finished repair or project that I will get around to eventually. | |
| Jane | The myth was that organizing would be the solution. The reality has been that decluttering was what was really needed. | My limiting belief had been that I may need or use things some day. That's been partially overcome with the use of boxes held for monthly donation drops. If something doesn't get pulled from the box before the donation drop, it's been easier to let things go. | |
| Jenny | ‘I used to believe I should have multiple backups of personal care items. Not anymore. I began using products for multiple purposes-even unconventional ones. Having the extra space and saving money has been a relief for me. | I was the kid whose school locker was a mess. I’ve always struggled with procrastination and organization. Now in my late 40’s it’s finally getting easier. | N/A |
| Anonymous user | "Does this spark joy?" is a sufficient question to determine whether to keep or toss an item. I live in a small studio apartment (510 square feet), so I'm intentional about trying not to bring a lot of stuff into my space. But, because my space is as small as it is, clutter happens quickly even when the things causing the clutter are things that spark joy. These are more helpful questions for me: Do I need it? Do I use it? Do I have a designated spot to display or store it? Do I want to clean it? Do I have something else like it that sparks more joy? (Related: I don't think the KonMari method is the best method for people living in very small spaces. To pull out all of one category of item, put them in a pile, and go through them one by one asking the "spark joy" question has not been doable for me. I don't have the space for that kind of pile somewhere. I have to break down decluttering by area and then within the area... and stay in the area to do it.) | "If I can't finish this decluttering project in the time I have right now, I should wait to start it until I have all the time it would take to finish it." | |
| Deb | If it's packed away in a cupboard or shed and can't be seen, it's not clutter. | Sorting and disposing of things is not a priority. There are always other things to do instead. (This is avoidance which only makes the problem worse.) | |
| Jeanne | I don’t need to declutter, I just need to get organized. | I won’t live long enough to get my home decluttered and organized. I can’t declutter by myself I’m too tired and feeble to declutter on my own I can’t get rid of any of my crafts. Dishes and clothes are easy. My crafts are expensive and bring me joy. I’ll never be able to declutter enough for my home to be easy to clean and keep tidy. My son doesn’t want my stuff. But it’s too valuable, special, sentimental for me to get rid of it. | How long will decluttering take for me? When will I see results? When will I feel better? |
| Kathy | If your house isn't neat your a slob! | Every part of your space needs to be neat and organized ... nothing in disarray! | What were your parents or grandparents organization style? Recall fenshui the balance or color coordination perfection in some spaces growing up . You didn't feel like it was a space to be a kid. |
| Judy | I must address the clutter in a perfect way to make a difference. I realized even one item or 5 minutes of work was leaving my situation better than is was before. | I cannot start on clutter that includes shared items with my husband. | |
| Name (click to view full survey response and comments) | Describe a myth or misconception about clutter or organizing that you believed in the past, but have now come to see as incorrect. | Describe a limiting belief that negatively affects your ability or willingness to address your home organization issues. | Here’s your chance to ask Gayle and Ed any question you’re curious about. |
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