Survey #186 Response from Denise
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| Statement #1: When I give valuable things to friends or family, I worry that they will turn around and give them away. |
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| Statement #2: When I give something away, I accept that I have no further claim to it, which gives me peace of mind. |
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| Statement #3: I only give things on the condition that the recipients will involve me in any decisions about the future disposition of things I’ve given them. |
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| Statement #4: I find it discouraging when I give useful and valuable things to friends and family who don't appreciate it. |
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| Statement #5: Worrying about what happens to things after you give them away is letting stuff hold too much power over you. |
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| Statement #6: It means a lot to me that my children recognize and understand the importance and value of items from our family’s history. |
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| Statement #7: Even though my stuff has become a burden in my life, it’s hard to let go of good things to people who don’t appreciate them. |
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| Statement #8: Remaining attached to our stuff and feeling like we need to find a good home for each item arises out of a need to remain in control. |
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| Statement #9: When people don’t want the thing you give to them, it isn’t a judgment on you or the value of your gift. |
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| What factors do you consider when you’re thinking about giving things away to family members, friends, neighbors, or other people you know? | I almost never give things to people I know. I have a couple of friends and relatives who have homes very packed items that most of the rooms in the home are not useable. They have little pathways, like the hoarders shows that you see on TV. I don't want to contribute to their belongings. Also, many of my friends are my age (66+) and already have too many household items. I generally do not give things for family or friends. It is too time consuming to take photos, send emails, arrange pickups/drop offs etc, etc. I did recently declutter a tub of Xmas Village houses/stores/church/etc. They had originally belonged to my mother-in-law. She gave them to us shortly before she passed away in 2021. I didn't want them and my husband was ready to let them go last month. I asked our son if he wanted them and I was actually shocked when he said, "yes". I was pretty sure that he was going to say no, and I was prepared to take them to Goodwill. I have offered furniture, dishes, etc to my son many times and he almost always says, "No Thanks" and that is fine. No big deal. I know people who AGONIZE over which person to choose to receive a gift on Facebook Buy Nothing. People agonize over who is the "best" recipient or the "most worthy" recipient or most appreciative. I've heard people who complain that some people on Buy Nothing are greedy. I don't worry about the "right" or "best" recipient at all. I always give to the person who asks for it first or the person who can come and get it off of my porch the fastest. FYI - Buy Nothing is not my first choose for getting stuff out of the house - but it has been great for things that Goodwill won't/can't take like vacuum cleaners. And it was great for really large items like a ping pong table. My mother had a crazy amount of cleaning supplies that I put on BN. I generally dislike the posting of photos and the describing of items and would rather make a trip to Goodwill. But it is great for some things. My mom died while we were on COVID lockdown and I emptied her house by dragging things to the curb with a free sign. I was just happy to see them go and didn't worry about who was taking them. AND I rented TWO 20 yard dumpsters. Had to be done. | ||||||||||
| What factors do you consider when you’re thinking about donating items to a charity, shelter, or unknown recipient? | 1. Will they accept this item? For example, I live in a city with 500,000 people. Our animal shelter doesn't accept donations of old blankets or towels or half bags of pet food. They would have to build another storage building if every household dropped off old linens. 🙂 Many pets get diarrhea, etc when their food is changed thus, they ask for specific brands of pet food. 2. Is it store worthy? I don't like donating items to Goodwill/thrift stores that really should go in the trash. I've watched people declutter on YouTube and thought, "Ummmm... that isn't a donation. That should just go in the trash!". 3. How much tax deduction shall I take for this? I itemize taxes, so I like donating to Goodwill vs Buy Nothing. | ||||||||||
| What is your all-time favorite hand-me-down, cast-off, or regifted item? | I have an xmas tree topper and a xmas tea pot that I got at Goodwill in 1989, when we didn't have much money. I still have them and love them. I'm grateful that somebody donated them. | ||||||||||
| Future topics | Swedish Death Cleaning 🙂 I actually didn't care for the book, but I love the concept!. |
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