Survey #186 Response from Debra

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PronounsShe/her
Statement #1: When I give valuable things to friends or family, I worry that they will turn around and give them away.
Strongly disagreeDisagreeNeutralAgreeStrongly agree
Statement #2: When I give something away, I accept that I have no further claim to it, which gives me peace of mind.
Strongly disagreeDisagreeNeutralAgreeStrongly agree
Statement #3: I only give things on the condition that the recipients will involve me in any decisions about the future disposition of things I’ve given them.
Strongly disagreeDisagreeNeutralAgreeStrongly agree
Statement #4: I find it discouraging when I give useful and valuable things to friends and family who don't appreciate it.
Strongly disagreeDisagreeNeutralAgreeStrongly agree
Statement #5: Worrying about what happens to things after you give them away is letting stuff hold too much power over you.
Strongly disagreeDisagreeNeutralAgreeStrongly agree
Statement #6: It means a lot to me that my children recognize and understand the importance and value of items from our family’s history.
Strongly disagreeDisagreeNeutralAgreeStrongly agree
Statement #7: Even though my stuff has become a burden in my life, it’s hard to let go of good things to people who don’t appreciate them.
Strongly disagreeDisagreeNeutralAgreeStrongly agree
Statement #8: Remaining attached to our stuff and feeling like we need to find a good home for each item arises out of a need to remain in control.
Strongly disagreeDisagreeNeutralAgreeStrongly agree
Statement #9: When people don’t want the thing you give to them, it isn’t a judgment on you or the value of your gift.
Strongly disagreeDisagreeNeutralAgreeStrongly agree
What factors do you consider when you’re thinking about giving things away to family members, friends, neighbors, or other people you know?When I offer something to someone (assuming they accept it) I tell them that if they eventually can’t use it or no longer want it at some point, they can do with it what they want. However if I am on the receiving end I ask if the person wants it back or if I am free to pass it on when I am done with it. Giving shouldn’t have strings attached. If it’s a loan, that has to be stated very clearly and the time frame attached has to be firmly established. Clarity prevents a lot of problems up front.
What factors do you consider when you’re thinking about donating items to a charity, shelter, or unknown recipient?I want to know that they can use the item, i.e. that it’s appropriate to the place and I am not deferring my responsibility of properly disposing of garbage to the charity.
I also want things to be clean and in good condition.
What is your all-time favorite hand-me-down, cast-off, or regifted item?Being given my cat 🙂 But as for an inanimate object, a buffet/hutch from my friends. He had it in his office for years to hide his printer and then it ended up in the attic. I was chatting with them about storage issues and looking for something with specific measurements—and what they had fit the bill. Still love it. It holds all my paperwork at the bottom, and essential oils for soap at the top.
Future topics

The dreaded paperwork. I am great at not allowing non-essential paper INTO the place, but it still stresses me out when it’s essential paper. Then I tend to get stacks (not high, but still stressful!) and I procrastinate dealing with it.
Quite a lot of paper must be kept here in actual paper form, much more than when I lived in Canada. That doesn’t help much. For example, I was asked to produce my baptism certificate for my job. I didn’t know I had one, since I come from a faith that doesn’t practice infant baptism. I was baptised as an adult and discovered that I did indeed have the paper. So…things are different.

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