Survey #246 results
| Name (click to view full survey response and comments) | Describe ways in which clutter has interfered with your ability to entertain visitors or host guests in your home. | What kinds of entertaining would you like to do in your theoretical “perfect” space? | What are the bare minimum requirements to get your space into shape for entertaining? | Do your entertaining materials, equipment, and supplies support the types of event you’d like to host? |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Debbie | corners and countertops always have stuff there so there is little space for guests to put their items OR they just kinda stare at the "stuff" and then I try to make stupid excuses, which makes everyone uncomfortable | start a ladies group meeting where women of all walks of life would feel comfortable and uplifted in my space | get rid of MORE stuff, and find a place for everything that's left | no...I need decor - pictures, art, plants, lamps - stuff that ties that ties the whole look of a room together and it feels inviting and warm, not like it's half done, or like I just moved in |
| A.G. | I've stopped letting it get in the way and accepted that my friends don't care if my house isn't perfect but it does usually involve last minute cleaning and still some embarrassment and shame at times when people are over. But I'm still not letting that stop me from being with my loved ones. | We have people over for dungeons and dragons, board games and other games, dinner (the regular kind not the party kind), sometimes birthday parties, craft nights, etc. Being able to do those things better, more comfortably, and without shame would be amazing. | We have to clear off the dining table (where we entertain) and clean it, get the cat hair off the chairs, try to make sure there's not too much stuff sitting around on the floor or anywhere, vacuum if it needs doing. Try to make sure the bathroom sink and toilet at least are decently clean. Make sure there's at least enough properly clean kitchen space for guests to make tea. | I used to think anywhere guests might go have to be perfectly clean or close to. Maybe I'm just too tired now but I'll take imperfection and loved ones over a perfectly clean perfectly empty house. I've never needed extra supplies except disposable stuff occasionally for parties for any gathering I've held. |
| Ginger |  My husband’s domain is the room where guests enter. He has a nest around his recliner. His chair is in the middle of a sectional. Sofa to the left, loveseat to the right - with a wedge surface on each side of him. So things migrate to the other seating within his reach. He’s one who needs to SEE everything. iPad, lap table, 2-3 books, notepad, pens, cigars, snacks, meds, hats, blanket throw, Athena wedge tables are covered with stuff. I’ve trouble-shooted other areas here. Like storage behind the door for some items and a wooden bowl to collect his pocket droppings. I collect his excess into a box to put away when guest arrive. We’re planning to buy new furniture this year. I hope to find a better solution for him to store all his STUFF. I recently cleared away my own nest around the kitchen table. I like things put away in their designated homes. | Clutter isn’t so bad that I wouldn’t feel comfortable having visitors. Family, friends & neighbors drop by. Cousins stop and stay the night when they come to our area. Regular routines keep our home mostly presentable. | We have all we need. We keep it casual & simple. No-sit down dinner events. We don’t have a dining room. Kitchen table seats 4. Or six if you squeeze them in. We always have paper plates & bowls available if needed. Music, movie or ball game on TV. Grilled meats, hamburgers, hot dogs, big pot of soup, stew, chili, spaghetti, etc. or, a fish fry. | |
| Ellen in W Michigan | Host game days. For us, a game day starts after lunch, games in the afternoon, a simple dinner (soup and fresh bread, nachos, a casserole, etc.) and more games. Everyone brings their own beverage and snacks to share if they want. | At this point in my journey, paperwork is usually my only lasting problem. Most of the time the picking up can be done in half an hour. It is the actual cleaning and the fact that I like to cook for company that take the time and energy I don't always have. | I come from a very large family. We don't do fancy or formal, usually pot luck. Whole family gatherings are in a hall. My apartment is only 830 square feet, so no room for large or formal gatherings. I have a folding table and chairs for extra guests, dishes and flatware for a dozen people, and a bookshelf of games. This is plenty for what I enjoy now. | |
| Anonymous user | Main table cluttered to the point where we can’t sit and eat at it, much less entertain. | Friend(s) over for lunch, crafting, games | My kitchen/den area in decent shape: everything in its place and extraneous items donated/recycled. | Yes |
| Anonymous user | I have lived in this house 32 years and had company maybe 6 times. the living room and kitchen and really the first floor are nice but the clutter is upstairs. We don't want anyone to see it. It is not even that bad, the floor is clear, it is clean, but my closets are stuffed and one small bedroom is a 'junk room.' | Have my in-laws over for dinner twice a month. | they are big people, and I would need furniture that can work with them. I need a dining room table , chairs and closet space for the serving pieces, placemats, etc. | I don't need anything specialized except for tools for the grill. My clutter is not for things I don't do, it is mostly clothes and crafting stuff. |
| Gabriella | For a long time I used to need to clean for several days before I could receive guests. This has changed in the past years and now I am usually able to clean up in 15 -20 minutes before my friends come to visit. I love having them over. I recently experienced, however, that my apprehension that I might be judged was not altogether unfounded. After a long time, I finally dared to invite a close friend, whom I know to be pretty demanding, as she has commented on clutter or cleanliness problems in the houses of other friends of ours in the past. When I showed her my office, where I'd assembled all my old electronics to be decluttered on top of a cabinet, I saw her frown when she saw it. Apart from the electronics, my office was clutter free. | Have friends over for brunch, lunch or dinner, or for the wonderful German custom of afternoon coffee and cake. Celebrate Easter or "Advent" (the German custom of lighting 1, 2, 3, and eventually 4 candles on a wreath and eating Christmas cookies on each of the 4 Sundays preceding Christmas). Of course I'd love to surprise my teddy bears with home made cup cakes. (By definition, teddy bears are special friends, they are not clutter!) | Entry way and living room in default mode (i. e. clean). Dishes done in the kitchen. Bathroom clean with guest towels. The entire apartment not in the state of needing a deep clean. | Since I've begun to ivite my friends over regularly , I have gradually assembled some simple and beautiful tableware, that I combine with a few items of the rather luxurious tableware I inherited from my family. I enjoy putting together decoration themes to suit the respective occasion. |
| Granny | Clutter doesn't stop me entertaining! If I'm entertaining bigger groups (25+) I may have to clear my kitchen island, which takes me maximum 5 minutes. | I already host dinner parties, music parties, family gatherings, board meetings... | I prefer it if my cleaners have recently been, but otherwise I would sweep/mop and make sure the public areas are clear so people have space to sit and take off/put on shoes if necessary. My coat rack is always clear (except for items people have left behind!!) | I have a supply of cheese boards that is definitely over the top, but they were gifts to my husband, who makes cheese and gives cheese workshops. They live in an upper cabinet (we need a ladder to get there) and only come to mind when we're hosting a very big event. Otherwise, I have replaced sets of crockery over the years as enough of them became damaged/broken. There isn't much (I don't think...) that we don't use, although we could get rid of a huge amount if we moved to a smaller home where entertaining wasn't possible - we don't intend to do that in the foreseeable future! |
| Anja | Actually in no way because being able to entertain or host was always possible for me. I constantly had and have this priority in my house. | Have friends over and also people that have to check in on my health or even a house call by an attorney. | Clean bathroom with clean towel, a table and also seating so chairs and/or a couch. | I only need some snacks and drinks, so tea or juice and cut cucumber, cheese and crackers. No elaborate cooking here. To exhausting for my state of health. |
| Cee | Embarrassed for anyone entering home. Try to keep to one area. Family doesn't seem to be affected. I feel as woman of house all is reflected on me and no one cares. | Invite friends over for chat and chew relax time | Extra clutter off counter tops as well as bags and overflow off floors | What I have still works when I can access it freely without obstacles |
| Ria | Not able to invite people in spontaneously. My office/guest room is the last cluttered room so having out of town guests is awkward. | Host dinners, have friends over for lunch/movie viewing | Tackling my office/guest room would be key because my dining room table is my makeshift desk now. | Yes, it’s evolve a lot. When I started decluttering six or seven years ago, I admitted how my lifestyle was changing as retirement loomed. In stages, I reduced, then eliminated crystal, extra china and dishes, serveware, etc. I now have enough for a gathering of six because I won’t be doing larger gatherings in the futue. |
| Denise | I entertained sporadically from 1989 to 2004. I didn't entertain AT ALL from about 2004 to 2018 because of too much clutter and a LOT of procrastination on daily tasks and weekly cleaning. I found Dana K White in January 2017 (at age 59) and started getting the house together and hosted Thanksgiving 2018! I have a backyard and, weirdly, I started hosting a few people in our backyard during the pandemic. It is crazy that I did more hosting during the pandemic than I had in the previous 20 years! Since the pandemic, I have people over every couple of months. | I've made so much progress that I am able to host dinner and holiday parties or have friends over for lunch!!! It is like a miracle! | I had a spare catch all room that I couldn't walk in to, when I first started entertaining. I also had to do a massive amount of stuff shifting for that first Thanksgiving. Since then, I have gotten ALL of the rooms in the house AND the garage decluttered and neat and tidy! | I have (and use!!!) placemats and china and platters, etc. But I have also used paper plates and don't worry about it! |
| Danetta | For years we couldn’t have anyone over without a 4 or 5 day cleaning stash and dash frenzy. Now we could have folks over for dinner tonight if we found out in the morning and most of the time would be spent shopping for groceries, cooking, and getting ourselves ready. | We now host dinner parties mostly. | Clean off the catch-all kitchen counter and do the toilets, some 5-minute pick ups in the breakfast nook, kitchen, and living room, probably wet mop the kitchen and bathroom floors | Yes, we have all the tablecloths, napkins, cookware, dishes, and table decor ( candles, runners) we need. |
| Anonymous user | Ugly appearance of home. Smells. | After church gathering. | Less obvious clutter. | Yes |
| Johanna | I moved to my current apartment over two years ago and I haven't had guests since because there's clutter everywhere. If I had people come over, they would not feel comfortable and I would be really ashamed of the state of my home. | I would invite my friends from my support group, until now we only ever meet at someone else's place. I would have my neighbor over for coffee and a chat. I would try dating again without fear of having to bring the guy home eventually and him seeing what he got himself into. | Clear out the living room (craft supplies, mountains of paperwork, furniture that doesn't fit in the space, empty boxes...) and the attached open kitchen so I'd be able to do a deep clean. Also clean the bathroom. | I don't even have enough plates or chairs to host a dinner for four people. I don't own a coffee maker, any serving dishes, tablecloth... |
| Anonymous user | Have a friend over | Horizontal surfaces decluttered | ||
| Celina | I'd sometimed rather meet outside than host people in. But it's also because I'd been renting a single room until very recently and sometimes the place overall didn't look good. | just craft more and draw and write. Just create art and enjoy the sight of cleaniness. | A place to sit without me first having to put everything into storage every time, to get rid of chairdrobes, etc. | i'm okay with just going out with people. |
| Kim | No clear table top surface | Dinner parties | Throw away 35% of my stuff | I don't really need my pate knives anymore. Or my cream and sugar set.... |
| CHRISTINE | am I embarrassed. . a few hours ago, for this Valentine's day, I had an unexpected delivery of flowers. (the first delivery of flowers to me in 2 decades, so it was unexpected). I let the delivery young man inside the house.....which was a complete mess ! Recovering from illnesses, no one to help me pick up house, much less clean it. for now, I am not allowing visitors or guests in the house. I just would like to have the house in order enough for the delivery people. | take care of babies in my baby proofed house for 4 tiny grandchildren to stay over for a few days. with their adult parents too. I used to have a friend over for tea, but those days are over , while my grandchildren need me. my adult children really enjoy a "semi formal" dinner here, because they are too busy with careers to do that. but they do enjoy the semi-formality aspect. | Put everything away !!!! clear all surfaces... no clutter in view wash the wood floors clean all bathrooms perfectly air out the rooms, if it is not winter for overnight guests.... give them new pillows, just washed or new sheets/blankets/bedspreads. and get rid of all throw pillows, stuffed animals, and duvets or thick quilts. those cannot be washed,, so they just are harboring all kinds of viruses these days. p.s. a "washable" pillow is an oxymoron. it is impossible to get the inner fibers of a pillow or a duvet or quilt clean. I have learned from hotels and hospitals (they have to keep bedding sanitary). that a few thinner blankets, or thin bedspreads, can be sanitized. but a thick duvet or bedspread cannot even fit into washing machines, even commercial ones. | Thanks to you both, Gayle and Ed, I still have semi formal dinners for my out of state family. ... which they still ask for because they want it but are too busy to do that themselves, But I decreased my "entertaining" stuff by 50%. by donating the top half of the dining room hutch, the thick table pads, all the serving dishes, all holiday decor, and the big tablecloths. The meal is buffet style from the kitchen ,where food can be kept warm in beautiful All-Clad pot and pans, that I used to cook them in. I replaced all the tablecloths (those used to take me hours to wash and iron ) with placemats. The only "decor" is fresh fruit, or greenery, in bowls, candlesticks. . Famed art on the walls, is not in the way, Now, my dining room is " a room for all seasons". not one holiday. p.s. tablecloths:... someone spilled a glass of water on the table during dinner. water soaked through the tablecloth, under the table pad, and on to the wood table. While dinner progressed, I knew water was ruining my good wood table. Now, using just placemats instead of , I can wipe up spills easily and replace the placemat. |
| Penny | Embarrassment of having guests. Too much stuff with no homes. | Having no anxiety when the doorbell rings. And inviting guests in without fear. | Finish emptying boxes from the recent move. And decide what to do with all the boxes of family photos that kids might not want. | Since we recently moved, not yet. But we hope it will |
| Kathryn | Started organizing a space in piles .... get a phone call overnight guests coming! Oh boy areas shoved back into what appears to be neat and project not returned to .... guest wre deceived I'm so neat and organized....not! | Friend over for lunch | It's been over 20 years since I've moved in and this space is cluttered with more room into over filled! Example his and her closet he passed it's all hers bursting at the seams! | Being a widow it's changed. Also grand child parents sharing has also creatively broke up contact holiday time. Have given several sets of dishes away to just daily where but my love of crystal filled those voided spaces pieces not used. |
| Lela | Dirty dishes or stinky trash was embarrassing. Too many knick-knacks used to make me not want to dust very often because it was so much trouble -- then my mom would come over and comment on the dust. Lol | Now that our house is decluttered, we like to have singings with church members or I have bible studies & potlucks with the ladies from church. We also love to host Thanksgiving or Christmas meals when our daughter comes and invites extra friends. | I can usually wash a couple of dishes and pick up the house in 5-10 minutes if I know someone is coming over. If I get a surprise visitor, the house usually looks good enough that it doesn't embarrass me. | If a larger group comes over, we usually do food potluck style so the kitchen supplies and cookware I have is sufficient to contribute my part. |
| Evelin | Usually my home is not clean enough for having people over. We rarely invite friends to our home and if we do we spend at least one or two days before just with cleaning and tidying. Less clutter would make it easier to clean. | I´d love to be able to welcome unannounced guests and not having to panic and to pretend I'm not home. | clean toilet clean kitchen sink clean stove clean bathroom sink fresh towels clean floors and flat surfaces in all the rooms the guest might see | As a young adult I thought I had to decorate a lot. Later in life I found out that I'm neither good at it nor do I like it and I don't have to do it. Once we had friends over for a "Greek dinner", I just used white and blue napkins, some candles, we had Greek food and music, it was lovely. I also found out that if you don't have a lot of board games just ask your guests to bring some of theirs, they will be happy to get more use out of them. |
| Anonymous user | My mother passed away several years ago. I am an only child so all her possessions became mine. Although I worked for over a year cleaning out her home, I still have some of her boxes in my dining room. Big items, clothing, etc has been taken care of but I just don’t know what to do with this stuff. | Invite family from out of town to spend a weekend. Invite friends to play Rummy Cube or cards | Get rid of the boxes in my dining room | I still have more stuff than I need. I am slowly getting rid of my excess. I was the hostess for holidays, birthdays etc. for years I had 16 to 24 for holiday meals. Have downsized china, tablecloths etc. can how entertain 6-8 easily, |
| Anonymous user | I don't like unannounced visits. I want notice so I can assure the house is presentable for visitors. | I wouldn't change anything. | New flooring once no longer caring for my mom's 18 year old dog. Would be a welcome respite to not have to constantly clean up after him. | |
| Yvonne | I wouldn’t say that clutter has prevented me from having people over per say, but buying too much junk that I don’t need has prevented me from doing the repairs/ upgrades that are needed to my house and that prevents me from inviting people over. | I would definitely host dinner parties and summer BBQs. | I have everything I need to entertain a dinner party, but I would need to redo my deck and get new deck furniture to be able to host a summer bbq . | |
| Millie | I grew up in a hoarder house and even though my house is clean I still feel uncomfortable having people in my home. I don't know how to decorate and my house is fairly plain because I like things to be minimal. My house also needs some repairs, i.e. peeling paint on bathroom ceiling, so I'm embarrassed about that. | Have friends in for lunch or dinner. Offer to let a guest stay while in town. | Get my bathroom spruced up. | I used to have fancy serving equipment and did entertain when I was first married. I no longer have these items but don't think they'd stop me from entertaining. It's really the condition of the house which needs repairs which stops me. |
| C | At the moment, what we used to use as a guest room (former child's bedroom) is now our storage room. If we do have overnight guests, they can stay in the paper cluttered study or sleep on sofa (pull-out bed) in the living room. Neither is ideal. | Have a nicer place to offer overnight guests. Since pandemic is over, more of our friends are traveling. Would make it easier on all to recover the storage room for more convenience and privacy. | Living and dining and kitchen are ok. To recover guest room I need to re-think how we are storing our things. Not very efficient right now. Room is full of delayed decisions. | I no longer experiment. I prepare what I know works well and can be adjusted for special dietary requirements, AND for the most part can be prepared before dinner guests arrive, or minimum work while they are here. I have a "checklist" of all what has to be done before. Have another list for when we have overnight guests. |
| Val | My home doesn’t reflect who I am and how I want to be seen. Even if I was ok with company seeing some clutter, since I know what their standard of living is, while they won’t say anything rude to me, inside I know they will be summing me up as a slob/lazy/crazy…and while that may be partially true  , I’m not at the place where I can just shake that off…so I’d rather not have company.It’s messed up because a big part of me wants to be hospitable and the clutter is crippling me. | Host game nights, and dinners and spontaneous tea parties. I also want my friends and family to know they can come and stay a night. | Declutter and clean outside in…everything but my personal bedroom and bath, or my hubby’s office. | If I don’t have what I need, I’d have them bring it. I do have items I’ve gathered all together in a cabinet. |
| Jeanne | as a child, mother became a dirty hoarder. she would not allow me to have any friends , go to people’s homes, or ever have a birthday party. I cleaned around her the best that I could but when I grad from high school, I moved out. although very low budget, and was always organized and clean , thrifty. | My son’s have their friends over, I enjoy visits but m a bit too old to entertain on a formal scale. They were happy in the artful, well run house they grew up in. we always had kids around. | I am in good shape. I have a large dining room area and can fit eight seated. we also have a nice patio with gardens | We have some Christmas dishes that the boys want to keep. Just four place settings so not overmuch |
| Noreen | More extended family dinners | Finish my kitchen renovation. Almost finished,,80% | I have downsized on some cookware like extra large slow cookers and large coffee makers. | |
| Lee | Have to stuff-shift all my papers from dining room table. | Have friends over for lunch or dinner. Have friends over to play board games. Have family or friends over to ice skate or pedal boat (seasonally). | De-clutter the common areas (dining room, living room). De-clutter the guest room if having family visit. Would also like to deep clean these ares. | What I already have would support what I would like to do in terms of entertaining. |
| Amanda | I'm reluctant to entertain if our main rooms are messy, and I don't always have a space to put away the frequently used items because there is old stuff in our cabinets. | Hosting game nights somewhere other than my dining room table. There's a space in the basement that would be perfect for it, if only I got rid of some stuff. | No toys on the floor, candle lit/windows open to freshen the space, clean kitchen, clean toilet and sink, fresh towels, put away mail (esp bank and medical stuff) | I have more bowls and platters than I will ever need. We have our favorites and the rest collect dust. |
| Name (click to view full survey response and comments) | Describe ways in which clutter has interfered with your ability to entertain visitors or host guests in your home. | What kinds of entertaining would you like to do in your theoretical “perfect” space? | What are the bare minimum requirements to get your space into shape for entertaining? | Do your entertaining materials, equipment, and supplies support the types of event you’d like to host? |
